Happy Anniversary

                   For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part.  Ty and I spoke those words to each other 30 years ago.  In those 30 years since we have been through the better and the worse, the sickness and the health, the poorer and now the richer and we await the death do us part.  And if anyone’s counting that’s:  1560 weeks, 10,950 days, and 262,800 hours.  Incredible huh?

                Anyone that knows Ty and I for any length of time will hear our story.  It’s one of hope, it’s one of a promise, and it’s one of God unwavering Grace and Mercy.  I don’t think that any couple - as they say those vows - can grasp the enormity of them; the lengths, the widths and the depths that you will walk to keep them.  It’s only in getting to the other side and looking back that you can see what an incredible blessing God gave to us when He purposed for two to become one.

                Ty is many things to me; he is my husband, my confidant, my lover, and the person who allows me to be me, who sees me raw and vulnerable, strong and courageous, afraid and confused, ditzy and a little audio dyslexic and yet loves all those things about me.  He is my best friend, he is my soul mate – he is my “one”.

                The other day I was talking to my daughter, we were talking about love and if it thrives and survives off romantic feelings, commitment, friendship or what. She asked me what is the most consistent thing you have in your marriage with Dad. I told her without a doubt, best friend.  A marriage goes through so many stages, and sadly most never hang on long enough to get to the “death do us part”. 

That’s so heartbreaking, because there is a wonderful reaping that takes place after years of sowing.   You get to a place of no longer having a need to struggle to define who you are and what the marriage should be, there’s peace and harmony.  You always loved the person, but you start finding that you truly really like them again.  The kids have grown and gone, now you can take the tapestry that God has been weaving of your marriage and enjoy the life you have built together.

                After 30 years I find it’s not so much what we lived through, but what we have learned through that is the most important.  When I was standing on that altar so many years ago having just turned 20 speaking those vows, I couldn’t possibly have foreseen all the learning through we would go through.  Neither of us had a clue that day all that we would be saying “I do” to.  We’ve weathered so many tremendous storms, conquered so many giants – and I am SO grateful that we never gave up on each other.  

                Time has crept up on Ty and I, as it always does; yet this middle age ain’t so bad.  It’s actually quite great.  We have less to prove to the world and each other. We’ve figured out what we want in life and part of the conclusion we’ve reached is – we want each other.  Yep the view from this mountaintop looks oh so good.

                For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part.  Seeing it now with aged eyes I can see that every lesson God ever intended me to walk through is covered in those words; they all go back to one thing, dying to self. 

When my daughter asked me that question of what is the most consistent thing you have in a marriage, I answered best friend and I stand by that.  Butterflies and gushy googly new love feelings won’t get you through life when it’s heading at you like a locomotive.  It’s the knowledge that the person that knows you inside out, that has seen you at your worst and that will be there no matter what; it’s that knowledge that keeps you keeping on.

                Looking back over the canvas of our 30-year marriage I think the “until death do us part” is what brings me the most comfort now.  This person that has been my companion, my friend, my lover, my one who started this journey with me, will be there with me when our story ends.  Whomever the Lord has purposed to take home first can rest assured that the other will be with them, that their face will be the last thing we see as we go home and await the other’s arrival.  Nothing this life can offer me is more precious than that. And I think that’s how God intended it all along, this two become one thing. 

Happy Anniversary sweetie, I love you eternally.

My Last Twelve Hours In My 40's......

            On my last day in the decade of my forties I wanted to write down what I achieved during that decade, and what I am still working on.  Sometimes it’s only in the looking back that we can see it all. So with that here I go:

Work:

• My forties started with me having just graduated from College.  I got my Associate Degree in Medical Assistant.  I went back actually to get a job to help pay for Jessi’s college she would be entering the following year.  The perk to the degree?  I get to legally sign my name Cathie Jo Floyd, MA..hehe
• I did go back to work in 96’ for two years.  In that time I went from working front desk at a doctors office, to working as a manager at another’s.
• I worked only two years when God dramatically said in a very real way, “Get back home full-time.”
• Two-weeks after I left that last job a doctor called me asking me to do his insurance from my home.  What a blessing that was, and I did that for 8 years until he retired.
• As the next decade starts I’ve been back to being to being a wife, mom and Nana fulltime for 8 years.  And that makes me very happy.

Health:

• At the beginning of my forties I had lab work done that determined I was in peri-menopause, which I have remained in for the whole decade.
• I’m working my way into menopause quickly now.
• I decided long ago to go through it naturally, my thought was every woman born since Eve has walked this journey naturally, up until this generation with the invention of synthetic hormones, why should I be exempt.  And maybe God has something we are suppose to learn going through it.
• I’ve been VERY blessed so far, though I do have a lot of the yucky symptoms, none are so bad that it would warrant medication.  Or maybe I'm just that hard-headed. lol

Children:

• My fortieth year started with Jessi’ having just graduated from High School, and Sabrina in Junior High.
• I went through my first child leaving home to move out into an apartment with girlfriends.  Then I went through her moving back home, then moving back out with her best friend, and then moving back home again. Lol
• My mid-forties found Jessi’ engaged to Jared.
• Then came the phone call no parents ever hopes to get, Jessi’ had been out running and a truck hit her and fled the scene.  It hit her and flipped her over the hood of the truck and over the driver’s side and back on the road.  Miraculously no bones were broke, however she had bruises that were deep to the bone for a long time.
• Next came the call to her from the doctor that her pap came back suspicious, come back in for another.  She did, and that one was bad too.  An appointment was made with another doctor.  Ty, Sabrina and I went with her while she had her biopsy.  That was a hard few days waiting for those results.  Once again God was there, the biopsy and pap showed nothing.
• Next came the bad EKG in a physical.  So off to the heart doctor we go.  More test were run, and guess what?  You guessed it; God was there once again it showed nothing wrong.
• These three things happened within weeks of each other.  Do you think the enemy was after her?  So do I, and yeah he still is.
• Then the wedding in Destin, Florida, which was GORGEOUS.
• Then I went through my first child leaving home again, but this time for real.
• I cried.
• But, it helped that I still had Sabrina here.  But the house was changed, my life was different in a way that it should be, yet I still mourned loosing her.
• Next came their wanting to have a child.  They tried and tried.  Nothing.  So off to the doctor for all the test, praise God they tried something new on her.  They started her on Glucophage, a diabetic medicine, she was not and is not diabetic but they found a side effect to this medication was it made you fertile.  This medicine makes her terribly sick, but when you want something so desperately you will go through hell to get it.
• It worked, two months later she was carrying our first grandbaby.
• A couple of months into the pregnancy, they listened for a heartbeat and couldn’t find one.  Tried again nothing, did an ultrasound and couldn’t find a baby.  They sent her home and said if she was pregnant at all she was having a miscarriage it was probably already happening.  So we waited.  My heart broke into a thousand pieces as I had watched her want this so desperately, and waiting to see if she was going to have this baby.
• The next appointment showed the baby, heart beating fine.  Yep, the enemy.  He dogs her horribly.
• She gave birth to Kaden our first grandson by c-section on July 9, two years ago.
• I became a Nana in my latter forties, and I LOVE it.
• They bought a house about two miles from us, here in Nederland.  That makes me happy.
• They are now trying for a second little one.  The sick cycle has started; I pray she gets pregnant quickly this time too.
• She is a stay at home mom.  She is walking out her destiny, and it makes me so happy and proud of her.
• My forties found me chasing Hanson EVERY.SINGLE.PLACE.THEY.WENT.  for our youngest daughter Sabrina.  We went to Oklahoma, several times for concerts, to see their home, and then anywhere and everywhere in Texas.  Once even risking my life (and that is not exaggerating) in Grapevine, Texas trying to see them at a Mall.  The stampede was so bad, we made the Leno show and Entertainment tonight, and you could see us on there. Lol.
• She graduated high school in my mid forties.
• She decided she was going to Oral Roberts University.  So we went up there, got her enrolled, they assigned her a dorm, and a roommate.  And then God spoke to her heart and said, “No”.  Back home we go. 
• She then took her first summer and interned with Teen Mania.  She did a missionary trip to Panama and decided to do another year of interning there.  They were so excited to get her, and then God spoke to her heart and said, “No”.
• That happened through our Pastors wife, who said please don’t go until I can talk to you.
• So she did and offered Sabrina an internship working under her.  She was the church’s first intern.  God spoke to her heart and said, “Yes”.
• Then she met Chad.
• Then God spoke to her heart again and said, “Move – to Dallas” Sabrina answered and said, “Yes.” 
• I cried.
• There isn’t enough paper to write all that has happened to this child in the last two years while living in Dallas.  Some horrible, most wonderful, ALL of it God.  But you will be able to read about it, because a book is forthcoming.
• She now works at Covenant Church in the Celebrate Recovery ministry in Dallas.  She is walking out her destiny.  And it makes me so happy and proud of her.
• Four years later Chad is still around..hehe.

Marriage:

• In two weeks Ty and I will celebrate our thirty-year anniversary.  I love him more today that I did the day I took my vows. 
• Ty and I are now empty nesters have been for a couple of years.  I honestly thought I would have had a harder time adjusting to it.  That’s not to say I didn’t cry and have a few days there when Sabrina left, I did.  And that’s normal I think.  But oh boy howdy do we LOVE being us again. 
• We met and married after dating only six months, then I got pregnant with Jessi’ two weeks after we were married, so being just us again is a really new thing for us.  And yeah, it is great.
• My forties brought back camping in our lives in a more upscale way.  We have always loved camping, but always had done it in a tent.  We bought our first pop-up and fell in love with camping all over again. 
• Then we bought a bigger pop-up.
• Then we bought a 29-foot travel trailer.  Which we love something fierce.

Me:

• In my forties I went from a mom of two daughters living at home, still in school to where I am now, a wife, a mom of two daughters that are grown and gone, and now a Nana.
• When I turned forty after living my life as the good child, I took a daring leap and got my first tattoo.  It’s a butterfly on my toe, and I love it.  I went with my sister-in-law and Jessi’.
• To enter into my fiftieth year I went and got a second tattoo, on my lower back. It’s represents the things closest to my heart, a cross for Jesus, a banner hanging over it with Ty’s name in the middle, and two pink roses that represent my girls. I got it in Dallas, Sabrina was with me, as where 11 of my closest friends, many of which got tattoos that day too.  We are in a ministry together, and it was an incredible bonding time to share that with them.
• I’m excited to see what my fifties bring in this department. Lol.
• I wrote a book in my forties.  My first and I am very proud of it.
• I rediscovered writing in my mid-forties, I hadn’t written since I was in high school.  It was something I had loved, but with life happening had forgotten about. I’m so glad it didn’t forget about me.
• I am writing a second book with my daughter, Sabrina.  It is going to be incredible, God’s hands are all over it.
• I have been writing for a Christian Magazine where I have been the Spiritual Writer for over a year now.
• We bought our first computer when I was in my mid-forties, and it opened up some wonderful things for me. 
• First, the encouragement I needed to start writing again.
• Second I met my best friend seven years ago on line, she was one of the first I met.
• I’ve been blessed to be a part of an online Ministry called WAH – Women At Home.  There are twelve of us that are the leaders of the ministry.  We have a message board where there are some of the most incredible women of God that participate in it. 
• We were so blessed to have one girl from Belgium join WAH who was not born again, daily we fed her.  We were blessed to walk her through accepting Christ into her heart.  And we were blessed to watch another WAH member in another country baptize her in a river.  God is good.
• I still crochet.
• I rediscovered music, thanks to Chad and the invention of Ipods.  When I entered my forties, I listened to only 70’s music and Christian.  Period. 
• I now listen to anything and everything.
• Ty and I have rediscovered our love of concerts.
• We go to as many as we can now, all types, all genres.
• I picked up the guitar to learn to play it; I quickly laid it back down.  It’s not my gifting I soon learned, best to leave that to the folks God gave the gift to.
• However, I still yearn to play something musically so who knows?
• My latter years of my forties I had to start wearing contacts/glasses.  It’s nice to see again.
• My forty-ninth year was spent almost entirely living in our trailer in the front yard because of Hurricane Rita doing a number on our home.
• It was a hard year, it was a blessed year, and it was a growing year.
• We got back in our home three months ago, and it’s all new – better than it was before the hurricane.  I pray I am too.
• We bought us a brand spankin new 07’ XLE Camry, she is beautiful, she is red, and I love her so much.
• I was adopted by my stepfather when I was forty-three as was my brother also.
• My bio father made an appearance in my life in my mid forties through email.  He did several times in a very unhealthy way through the rest of my forties sporadically.
• This past Christmas in my forty-ninth year he made a final exit.
• It was for the best.

Spiritually:

• My forties started with no knowledge of bondage, how they worked or even that they existed.
• I learned, I learned a lot about them.  And applied what I learned to my life.
• Since then I have broken more bondages than I can count.
• And it feels good to be free.
• In the last three months I have over-come more fears than I ever thought I could or would.
• I am very proud of me.  I like who I am becoming. 
• The most precious thing to me is my friendship with the Lord.  I honor Him in His headship over me, but oh how I treasure His friendship.
• I’m beginning to walk out my destiny.
• The enemy doesn’t like it.
• I don’t care.

Well that’s a few of the things my forties brought.  Just a quick highlight.  But I can already see the work God was doing, and why the enemy was hitting so hard in some areas.

Happy 50 to Me!

             Fifty.. Does that sound old to you?  Heck I can remember when I thought thiry was old.  But an interesting thing happens on your way to middle age, old keeps getting pushed further and further back.  Seventy doesn’t even sound that old to me anymore.

            I don’t think anyone could have prepared me for the way I am embracing turning fifty this Friday.  And by embracing I mean standing on a mountaintop yelling for the world to hear, “I’ve arrived, I made it and it’s a spectacular view from up here.”

            What the world tells me and what I feel are about as opposite as east is to west.  That’s not to say I am blinded by changes in my life, all I have to do is walk by a mirror to see I have went from this my senior year:

To this my fiftieth year:

            Change has happened, life has a way of doing that.  As I approached fifty I wanted to see what the world was telling me I had to look forward to.  So I went to the AMA and got this, check it out:

1.      Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling.

2.      Bouts of rapid heart beat.

3.      Irritability

4.      Mood swings, sudden tears

5.      Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)

6.      Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods, heavier period, flooding, phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles.

7.      Loss of libido

8.      Dry vagina

9.      Crashing fatigue

10.  Anxiety, feeling ill at ease

11.  Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom

12.  Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion

13.  Disturbing memory lapses

14.  Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge

15.  Itchy, crawly skin

16.  Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons

17.  Breast tenderness

18.  Headache change, increase or decrease

19.  Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea

20.  Sudden bouts of bloat

21.  Depression

22.  Exacerbation of existing conditions

23.  Weight gain

24.  Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair

25.  Dizziness, lightheadedness, episodes of loss of balance.

26.  Changes in body odor

27.  Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head.

28.  Tingling in the extremities.

29.  Gum problems, increased bleeding

30.  Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor.

31.  Osteoporosis (after a few years)

32.  Changes in fingernails, softer, crack or break easy.

33.  Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, whoosing, buzzing etc.

If that don’t make you want to tie cement to your legs and jump off the Orange Bridge I don’t know what will..hehe.  To be honest I have already been experiencing some of those.  I now retain water forever, yet can’t retain what I did with my coffee cup in the morning.  One particular cup I still haven’t found.  I did however find the phone in the freezer when looking for said cup.  And joy of joy I don’t even have to exercise to sweat, that happens nightly as I play strip poker by myself in bed, night sweats gotta love em.  But at least it gives me something to do, since sleep eludes me.  Now I know why my grandma was up so early, she never went to bed.

Age – yeah you have to just laugh and roll with the punches it delivers. But let me not leave you with thinking there is no plus to this aging thing.  I am eight years younger than Andrew Lloyd Webber, I am twenty-three years younger than Donald Duck, I am nine years younger than Israel, five years younger than CoCo the gorilla, and I even have McDonalds beat by 2 years. 

As long as I am younger than one person on this earth, I ain’t old yet.  I realize that while my breast now sag, my hips are expanding, and my chin is doubling, that maybe I’m acquiring knowledge that I didn’t have when I was younger.  Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all our newfound wisdom we have obtained.  Anyway that’s my reasoning today and I’m sticking to it, and if you have a problem with it reference number 3 & 4 and think twice about going there….lol.

So Happy Birthday to me.  I’m expecting a great Fifty more. 

This To Shall Pass

            Mark Lowery a Christian comedian often repeats a passage of scripture in his comedy act, “It came to pass.”  Today I am reminded of the promise of hope in that passage.  Those four little words remind me that when problems come they also will go.  They will “come to pass.”  The Psalmist said, “weeping may remain for a night… but JOY comes in the morning.  It will come to pass; you will get through whatever is happening in your life.  A joyful morning will dawn. 

            Life is a series of ups and downs, mountains and valleys, trials and victories.  A couple of months ago I was on a mountaintop, figuratively and physically it was a couple of weeks to just rest and breathe. Mountaintop highs are exhilarating.  There we experience God’s glory and power.  I remember recently standing on Pikes Peak above the clouds and looking around.  Nothing grew because we were above the tundra line, and just the walk from the train to the shop on top left us winded because of the lack of oxygen.  There was nothing to do on Pikes Peak really but to stand and look, and say I had been there.  Our spiritual mountaintops are much like that, there is no growth there, it’s a place to just stand and rest. 

            However, the mountain highs cannot be encountered without the road through the valleys reminding me of my constant need for His protection and guidance.  My relationship with God is a process, growing in the valleys and glorifying on the mountaintops. 

            Now I enter a valley, I am reminded right now of some pretty awesome people who didn’t relish the fact of going through the valleys.  The Bible records that Moses and Jeremiah went through times of deep despair and valleys. 

            You see the truth is life is full of ups and downs.  It is the one thing you can count on.  After every down there is an up and after every up there is a down.  Life is not just one long joy that gets better and better.  No sirree bob, there are mountains and valleys.

 Elijah had just climbed a mountain of accomplishment you remember that?  He had prayed and God had instantly answered in the presence of thousands of people, proving that Jehovah was the one true God.  He had just seen the people turn from idol worship because of this and they obeyed his command to kill 850 false prophets of Baal and Asherath.  Then he prayed again and a 3-year drought ended.  Pretty incredible huh?  Can’t imagine a high getting much better than that.  But keep reading you will see Elijah had after this some of the lowest lows to hit him. 

            Elijah did get through his valley times in his life.  God gave him other mountaintops of accomplishments too. At his lowest point Elijah asked God to take his life and even that never happened because in the end Elijah never died.  He was simply taken up to Heaven in a whirlwind.  Now talk about something that was down going back up. 

            Job’s valley often times brought him to the point of suicide.  Listen to his words, “I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water… my life flies by…day after hopeless day…I hate my life… my heart is broken.  Depression haunts my days.  My weary nights are filled with pain…I cry to you, O God, but you don’t answer me.”  Now that’s a valley friend. 

            But of course we could say, well that’s Job, I can’t really relate to back during the Bible times.  Let me give you some encouragement because the truth is many great men and faithful servants of God struggled in their valleys.  Take Martin Luther for example.  He fought with depression on and off through his entire life.  In 1527 he wrote, “For more than a week I was close to the gates of death and hell.  I trembled in all my members.  Christ was wholly lost…the content of the depressions was always the same, the loss of faith that God is good and that He is good to me.”  Anyone who has ever battled depression can relate to him I know. 

            Then the Charles Spurgeon, who God used during the 19^th century revival movement, struggled so severely with his valley of depression that he was forced to be absent from his pulpit for two or three months a year.  In 1866 he told his congregation of his valley saying: “I am the subject of depressions of spirit so fearful that I hope none of you ever get to such extremes of wretchedness as I go through.”  He explained that during these depressions, “Every mental and spiritual labor…had to be carried on under protest of spirit.”  What hope that brings me when going through valleys.  A valley doesn’t signify that I have done something wrong, or that I am less Christian, indeed it most times means I am on the right track.

            Yeah the one constant is that there will be valleys, and then there will be mountains.  But we Christians are called to rejoice in all times.  But the truth is even though that is our goal, a lot of times our joy can be mixed with cheerless despondency.  Peter talked about this when he said, “In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials.”  To me it’s almost like he is telling us this is part of the natural cycle of the ups and downs of life.  That, “It will come to pass.” 

            When we are in the midst of whatever our particular valley is, we tend to picture ourselves in a bottomless pit.  We talk about being down, being hit hard, being weary, being deflated, tired and confused.  But instead of picturing it as a pit of despair, maybe it would help us to see our valleys as tunnels.  We don’t need to climb out of it as much as we need to go through it.  As soon as we enter it, we are already on our way out of it.

            Some of the true things I know about my walk are, the valleys will seem to take forever, the climb up the mountain is hard, and the decent down from a mountain top moment will be faster than my mind can take in.

            So if I can be assured of valleys, and I am reminded that even the strongest of Christians go through them, then I need to find out God’s answer for them.  Take Elijah for example, many years ago I studied his depression and what I found was idleness breed’s despair.  He was sitting alone in a cave with nothing to do but focus on his own problems and that will always magnify our despair.  So God got him out of the cave and put him to work.  God told Elijah that he had a job to do, get up and get moving.  Two kings needed crowning, and he also had a prophetic successor in Elisha to appoint.  From this one chapter in the Bible I am reminded today that when a valley hits we shouldn’t go somewhere and simply dwell on it, instead we should get our bodies moving because physical activity, even the scientist have told us is like emotional medicine.

            Our emotions are one hard puppy to train they are rebellious at times.  They don’t like to take orders.  They easily ignore commands such as “stop being angry” or “don’t feel sad” or even “be happy.”  It’s difficult to control our emotions which is the very reason God tells us not to trust them.  But what we can control is our bodies.  And forcing them to do something that needs doing can make us feel better, just like it did Elijah, even though we are still in a valley.

            Did you know that scientist are now saying, long after God already declared it in His Word, that our emotions are closely connected to our actions.  God reminded Elijah that there was an entire nation that needed his ministry.  And you know what that screams to me?  That when we are in a valley of despair the surest way out is to help others-to focus on meeting their needs. 

            Again science tells us this now too.  Why can’t we just take God’s Word for it?  It was asked of a psychiatrist what would you advise a person to do if that person felt a nervous breakdown coming on?  To their surprise he said, “Lock up your house, go across the railroad tracks, find somebody in need, and help that person.”  To overcome our valleys, and walk through them our eyes have to be off our self.

As long as life hands us stuff we can handle, as long as we feel like we can make it under our own strength, we never fully understand the nature of God.  People who have never been broken in a valley tend to be judgmental, gossip, critical, prideful and self centered.  But people who have been broken by valleys tend to be humble, non-judgmental, giving and they have much more compassion because the valley of despair will change you, it changes your disposition and it brings you to a place of utter dependence on God. 

Trust Really Is the Issue

            There is an old saying, “Seeing is believing.”  I myself have said it many times.  But like most things in this life, God’s way is the flip side of that saying.  Most things in our walk that we are told to believe we never actually get to see.  To believe something doesn’t necessarily mean that you believe in it. 

            I remember like it was yesterday, when our girls were small, bringing them to our city pool.  I would get in the water, turn and face them, look them in the eyes and say, “Jump”- while I held my arms out to catch them.  Without hesitation they each would jump.  Why?  Because they believed “in” me.  Now on the other hand when I was a small girl, I failed swimming lessons eight years in a row.  The instructor would get in the deep water, look up at me, and say, “Jump”- and I stood frozen.  Why?  Because I only believed them, but not “in” them.

            One only required the acknowledgement of truth, I believed that they thought they would catch me.  However the other required trust, my daughters not only believed me, but they trusted me.  They were willing to take the risk of me not catching them, they placed their complete trust in me.  It most probably never even entered their minds that I might not catch them, the trust ran that deep.  I however, did not trust those instructors, I believed they thought they would catch me, I believed their statement of such, but I didn’t trust them for a second.

            There is a story I heard recently that I think demonstrates the difference between believing and trusting perfectly.  There was a couple who one day went to a mint to watch coins being made.  The man that was leading the tour explained that if you stick your hand in water then remove it, they could then pour the melted metal over your hand and it would roll right off, without burning and without you feeling anything.  He asked the couple if they believed that, the man said, “Yes, I believe that is true.”  So the leader said to him, “Then stick your hand in the water and let me demonstrate it for you.”  The man immediately said, “Nah, that’s ok, I believe you - but no thanks.”  His wife however chimed up and said, “I’ll give it a try.”  So she walked over to the barrel and stuck her hand in the water.  The leader walked over with the melting silver and pour it over her hand.  Can you guess what happened? It just ran off her arm without her feeling a thing.

            You see the husband believed, however the wife trusted.  Belief is nothing until an action follows it. Many Christians today believe, they believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He lived a perfect life, that He died a death that He did not deserve in order to pay the penalty for our sin, and that He rose from the dead.  They acknowledge this truth, but without trusting.  However, that sort of belief that leaves out trust really is nothing too special, in fact, even the demons have this sort of belief.  Demons acknowledge God, but that doesn’t make them Christians, and it surely won’t get them saved. 

            So what separates us believers from demons that also believe?  Trust.  Trust is relinquishing your right to do things your own way, to follow your own self-interest, and to do what you feel like when you feel like doing it.  It is truly surrendering yourself to God and allowing Him to do with your life as He sees fit. 

            A belief of something requires nothing from us, a trust in something requires action, it requires stepping out in faith.  That can be awful scary, I know I remember that feeling standing on the side of the pool looking down at my instructors holding their arms out for me to jump.  I didn’t trust, and I lost out on learning to swim.  And the reaping of that was a fear of water for most of my childhood.  My daughters just purely trusted and they have thrived in water since they were small.

            We all trust in something, and we trust it so deeply we never even consider it will fail us.  Take for example your electricity.  When you walk into a dark room, you reach for the light and trust it will come on.  Now we never stop and think, “When I flip this switch, will the light come on or not?”  No, we never even think on it, we trust that it will.  If you walk up to a couch and turn to sit, you don’t turn around and watch the couch the whole time thinking it might disappear on you, no you trust that it will be there, without even giving it a thought.  You go to turn on your water,  you trust water will be there.

            It’s that kind of trust God is asking of us.  The kind that is so deep we never even think, “Will He or won’t He”.  You just trust that it is all in His hands, and He is looking out for the best possible things for you.  In season and out of season, in good times and bad, during trials and tribulations, during mountain tops and valleys.  A trust that is etched and ingrained in you. 

            Believing is a head thing, a brain work-out so to speak.  But God requires a believing “in” Him, now we have a heart thing – it involves trust – a giving of ourselves.  And it involves risking something.  Believing in God means doing something, risking what He leads us to do, trusting He’s leading us through the Holy Spirit.  Believing does nothing but sit, trusting takes a step in faith when we can’t see the ground beneath us. Help us Lord to believe and to trust and then to step out - and do.

James 2:19  Do you still think it’s enough just to believe that there is one God?  Well, even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror.