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Friday, 05 February 2010

The Rain

     Why? I remember learning in my journalism class in High School about the five questions all articles should answer; who, what, when, where and why. It was taught to me that in answering these five questions you would have all your answers. That all works real good for news articles, but in your Christian walk...not so much. The who, what, when and where were pretty easy to answer, the why however is one that haunts me still at times.

     Winter in Texas can be summed up in one word, wet. Now parts of Texas get snow, however those of us that live on the Gulf Coast get what snow turns into when the temperatures rise about 32 degrees - rain. I love the rain, the thought of cuddling up on the couch, drinking a warm tea, and reading a good book just fills me with delight.

     The problem comes when the rain doesn't let up for days on end, like we have had this past week. The first day or two I get all the warm feelings and romantic thoughts, but by the fifth or sixth day this house gets very small as the walls start closing in on us. Yet the rain must fall. Without rain it wouldn't be long before nothing existed anymore, including us. But does it have to fall all at once? Sometimes it seems it does, and without a doubt I am sure in a picture bigger than I can see, it must.

     Why? Do you have ask God that question? Why me, why now, my in this manner? I think we all feel that it's not only right but fair that the wicked suffer, and I'm sure we often even speak that out loud. You've hear the sayings, what goes around comes around, or well he's reaping what he sowed. But how then do you explain tragedy that seems to sit saints as often and sometimes stronger than sinners? And the suffering at times seems to happen so randomly.

     I know for myself the book of Job still can bring me comfort during those times when the rain is falling on something unjust in my life or someone's I love. Job suffered great losses, he was stripped of everything we humans hold closest to our hearts, family, children, health, and all his money, which by the way was a fortune. Yet never once did he falter in his trust of the God he truly believed was treating him so unfairly.

     At the height of Jobs attack he made the most powerful statement coming from a human that can be found in the Bible. Job declared, "Even if God slays me, I will still trust Him." During the height of our blessings it's easy for us to say that same thing. It's very easy to quote all the wonderful promises of God when we aren't in the middle of our valleys.

     But what if.. just what if He takes your child in their early years, what if He takes your parent at a time when you needed them most, what if you are raped, what if it was a drunk driver that took your family members life, what if cancer struck at an early age then took that persons life? What if......

     Indescribable pain and heartbreaks untold. During these times we cry out from the deepest parts of our soul, "Where are you God?" We are left with such questions as, "Did God cause this suffering?" And the answer from his Word is sometimes He does allow it. God told Moses, "Who gave man his mouth? Who made him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord?

     So does God enjoy our pain. Absolutely not. Our human mind isn't God's. His ways are not our ways, and it's truly hard to see and understand that with everything there really is a purpose. Could God stop all the suffering, without a doubt yes He could. So why doesn't He?

     Could it be that it is only through these trials that we learn, grow develop compassion, and learn to reach out? Or maybe we aren't suppose to know it all, now that's a hard one for us humans to swallow. Something in our flesh desires to know everything and to know it now. But in Proverbs it says, "God is honored for what He keeps secret. Kings are honored for what they can discover." And too, it would seem we serve a God that tells us things on a need to know basis...ha now that's a toughie for us humans.

     In Texas right now we are in the rainy season. I am reminded that it won't rain always, that's a direct promise from God. But to an even greater extent I am reminded that even when it is raining the sun hasn't gone, it's shining through. It's just hidden behind the clouds. The sun has always been there, it's hasn't not shined for even a second.

     So I choose to answer my why question one way and actually Paul said it best, "God let even His own Son suffer for us. God gave His Son for us all." I pray that my wall of faith is built high like Job's so like he, I too can trust a God who for me personally and for you, did not even spare His only Son. If nothing else in this life is certain, at least I know that is. In it I place my hope and through my hope my faith will grow strong. That's a promise I can bank on.

til later.... remember HE IS THERE! cj

Saturday, 30 January 2010

Times They Are A Changin'
     Boy Dylan once declared, " The times they are a changin'." I have to agree with him, and today it seems changes are happening at an alarming rate, and from my bird's eye view not always for the good. From unemployment, to health care "reform", to bail outs, to stimulus packages, to... well you get the idea.

     Last week as we visited Cades Cove I was moved and humbled in ways I haven't been in a long time. I've never felt God move, coddle, massage, and prod my heart more. It got me thinking about life back then and life now. It had me wondering if there was a time machine and those people that lived in that time could for an instant see the world now, what would their thought be? Would they marvel at the invent of electricity, phones, indoor plumbing, cars, planes? Would they be horrified that they fought so hard and loss so much to keep the Government out of their life's to see it now runs everything in ours?

     I can't answer for them, but I can ponder on my own life. I can look back 50 years and know what we had or didn't have then, compared to what we have now and make my own judgment of that. So much has changed, some for the better, some not.

     We are planning a vacation for our whole family, and dates have had to change because our oldest grandson will be starting Kindergarten in the fall, and well... they don't allow vacation anymore during the school year. In my day they considered that part of your education, vacation were not only allowed but encouraged. Sadly that is not so much about my grandchild's education as it is about money for the number of students that attend.

    Between visiting that old town and thinking of my own childhood I am just astounded at how much has changed. Here's a few bullet points:
- I only knew of one girl I went to high school with whose parents were divorced.
- We only had one car because mom's didn't work outside the house, if she needed something she shopped on Saturdays.
- There was a blue law, nothing and by that I mean nothing was opened on Sundays.
- Phone's were rotary dialed and most had party lines. How fun to sit and listen to conversations of others.. maybe that is where my love of reality shows started..lol
- TV came when I was 5 or so, it was black and white and had a knob you turned to change channels. It wasn't that big of a deal because there were only 3 channels anyway. TV signed off at 10:30 playing the National Anthem.
- I remember the neighborhood girls gathering at the Youngblood's house to watch "The Wizard of OZ" cause they were the first to get a color TV. And we just oohed and ahh'ed when we for the first time saw what Dorothy saw, the yellow brick road really was yellow.
- There was only AM radio, and music was played on record players LP's or 45's.. Oh the joy of going to the record store in Port Arthur (then a thriving city) for the latest release. We upgraded years later to an 8 track player.
- You slept with your windows open because there was no air condition, and you slept with your doors unlock and cars unlocked.
- Three meals a day were served like clockwork.
- We ate supper all together at the family table at 5 o'clock with.out.fail... While listening to Leave It To Beaver.
- We had 1 bathroom, everyone shared, you learned to hold it, I don't remember it damaging our bladders or kidney's.
- We started school with the Pledge of Allegiance, and before lunch we had prayer, and this was a public school.
- During lunch at school, you walked your tray up to the teacher, who always sat with her class to make sure we were eating and not talking. If you didn't eat everything you were sent back to your seat to finish. If you didn't you weren't allowed to get ice cream.
- We went outside after breakfast and didn't come back inside except to eat lunch. And no one could get a hold of us, no cell phones, no pagers, no beepers.
- We played long and hard and mostly without toys, we used our imagination to make up games.
- Twice in my school years I got licks. First grade for talking and 9th grade for talking. I got them at home and school. I spent a year in Mrs. Weidenfields class facing the corner....for talking. Talking always got me in trouble. Wonder if any of that would even be allowed nowadays.
- Doctors made house calls, and I don't remember there ever being "on call" doctors. Dr. Walters delivered me, and was the only doctor I ever had until his retirement after I was married. Haven't found as good of a doctor since.
- In school if you didn't pay attention or couldn't focus you got a ruler put to you, that brought things instantly back into focus.
- You tried out for sports and gosh.. if you weren't good enough you didn't make it. I tried out and I failed. Today everyone plays, everyone wins. They say children today have trouble reading and writing at their appropriate grade level, but according to educators the great news is they feel good about themselves... :)
- We learned how to lose. And sometimes if we were lucky or good at something we learned how to win. Watching American Idol I am floored by the parents who obviously have heard their child sing, yet are their number one supporters pushing them to go before judges that will tell them the truth. We aren't teaching our children how to lose anymore. We learned it was OK to lose, it just meant that was not the direction God was leading us. Yeah it hurt, yes there were tears, but boy how thankful I am to have learned it's ok to lose. Disappointments are part of growing up and life.
- We took aspirin, we consumed real butter, we ate bacon each morning, cooked and fried in lard, and gobbled down red meat.
- We rode in cars without seatbelts or air bags.
- We roller skated without looking like a goalie in the NHL.
- We rode our bikes day and night without a helmet.
- We had to pass P.E. yep, had to be able to do 50 push ups, 50 sit ups, pull ups, laps, and throw a soft ball so far. Those had to be performed to pass.
- We fell out of trees, broke bones (and noses), swam in canals, played in drainage ditches. Most while playing at a friends house and there was never one lawsuit that I remember.
- There was dating, not hooking up, there was no hooking up between "tweens". At the school dances, the boys hugged one wall and the girls hugged the other. If a boy and girl liked each other it pretty much meant they didn't talk to each other..lol
- There was no movie ratings, parents used common sense and somehow knew what was appropriate for their kids to see. And we saw cartoons before each feature, not 15 minutes of commercials.
- Home-made ice-cream was made by cranking the handle until it was frozen good, while one of us kids sat on the ice and salt to keep it still.
- A dime at York's bought you enough candy to last all week.
- We lined up in school to eat polio sugar cubes, and got these really BIG small pox shots. Remember the cups we wore over them until the big scab came off by itself?
- Going to the Drive-In on a Saturday night in our pajamas. The whole family stuffed into our Rambler. Sitting in the car in the sweltering heat with our windows rolled up and mosquito pic filling the car with a poison strong enough to kill those suckers.. ha
- A special, truly special treat was eating out. Every Sunday after church we went to the Luby's in Jefferson City to eat. And even more special was the occasional trip to Drakes or Shep's for a hamburger. I don't think any fast food place makes hamburgers that can touch either of those. Or maybe they were so special because we never got them.
- The soda fountains, we had two in town both at the drug stores.
- The sound of the ice-cream truck coming. It use to drive my mom crazy cause he always seemed to come when she was trying to get us down for naps.. :)
- Garage parties. Nothing was more fun than those parties.
- We chased behind the mosquito truck, until our eyes were swollen shut from the poison.. ha.
- I remember several times chewing on fresh laid tar on the street.
- When you got a fever you were told to wrap up in a blanket and sweat that fever out. And we did just that, and the fever did break. Now they say this can cause seizures. I don't likely recall ner' a person that got seizures from doing that my whole childhood.
- We had weekly bomb drills along with fire drills at school. But somehow it never entered my mind that I should be scared. Must have been because the only news we heard was the 15 minute broadcast on the 10 o'clock news after my bedtime.
For better or worse things have changed. Ty and I have all the new fangled electronics that come out. We are first in line for the new internet cell phones, blue rays, game stations, computers, ipods, etc. We get caught up in the fast life style that today brings, then something happens... Vacation comes and I stop and ponder it all. And I remember a quieter time, a peaceful existence, a time when police were honored for the service they provided, when God was honored, when life was honored, when marriage was honored, when a child in the womb was considered a child.
Yeah, the times they are a changing. A lot of the changes in the last 50 years have afforded us a better way of living; technology and medicine have impacted it greatly. We know and do things today that seemed unimaginable to this girl 50 years ago. So much of what we did and ate now they tell us it can kill us....even so, somehow we made it.

Monday, 25 January 2010

What A Wonderful World

     This week we are visiting... Visiting many things, some states, a city, mountains, family, snow and a life style we don't normally lead. Visiting means I'm just passing through. How blessed are Ty and I have to have this time in our lives.

     Today we have visited the mountains, sat in our cabin in them there mountains and watched it snow. For whatever reason, God chooses to speak to me through nature, always has. For me the lessons to be found in nature or as many as the sands of the sea. I think Louis Armstrong said it nicely, "I see trees of green, red roses too, I see them bloom for me and for you, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world. What a wonderful world indeed.

     I was talking to Ty today as we were driving through the mountains about the bears. I was telling him how when I was young we saw black bears every time we came to the Smokies. And how I was reading that they came close to extinction here because of people taking over their habitat. A few years ago they started reintroducing them to the area and now they number over 1200. What I was pondering over was the fact that left alone, they survive. God instilled in them instinct to survive, it's only our involvement that impedes them.

    There's scripture to back that up. He continually tries to teach us through nature, watch it, trust it, look to the birds, look to the lilies. It's amazing to me, God will use flowers and fat ole' sparrows to teach us lessons, vital truths about Him. Birds, by His call will fly south where bugs and seed abound in winter. We live with this knowledge as just natural occurrences, but it's a huge deal. An immense God cares much for what is seemingly insignificant. He cared about those bears we humans almost did away with. We just can't seem to watch, and leave it be can we? We have to touch and change everything, redo what God already did perfectly.

     Most of the questions put to Job where about nature. Over and over it points to God as being the designer of nature. Nature will direct us humans to understand that we are not God's equal, never have been... never will be. Nature all throughout the Bible draws our attention to the existence and character of God. Psalms 19 talks about the sun, moon and stars being the display of the work of His hands. The lesson in that chapter is powerful. Man is without excuse, God is revealed by His glorious creation. All it takes to believe there is a God is to look up.

     Yep, it's a wonderful world. But maybe just maybe the greatest lesson we can learn from nature is the fact that it points us to another world. The Bible says that creation longs for the curse to be broken. Make no doubt about it, as much as we know bears hibernate in the winter, the curse laid upon nature because of sin will be taken away. That which allows for there to be thorn on roses, and fruit that will spoil, and mountains that can not be moved, will disappear. One day flowers will be more brilliant, and bears will walk along side me, birds will sing a sweeter song. "Let heaven and nature sing".

     Today I am visiting. But one day, one great day I will live eternally will all the wonders to behold. But tonight, I sit looking out the window on a dark night with a porch light on, and watch as clean white snow falls. And I am reminded,

Nothing but the Blood....

til next time remember... HE IS THERE! cj

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Happy Anniversary Baby, Got You On My Mind!!!!

      That's was the first email I opened this morning. It was from Ty, he had already called but what a smile it brought to my face. Today we celebrate our 33rd year of marriage. Hard to believe that many years have past. We leave tomorrow to Gatlinburg, TN for a week vacation in a log cabin in the Smokey's.

      As I sit here I can see a picture hanging of Ty and I at the tender ages of 20 & 22, heck I thought he was so grown up, he was over 21 and LEGAL!.. lol My how a young mind's perspective is so innocent. I look at us and it's hard to even recognize those two kids anymore. I certainly have changed, Ty has changed. We've grown and evolved into these two people I don't think those young kids would recognize. I wonder sometimes when we say or do something, was it I that changed to think like him or was it he that changed. We are one now, there's really no memory of the two of us separate.
      If I could talk to that young girl in the picture there is so much I would tell her. I would tell her life is indeed long, but the living part of it goes so very fast. Please slow down and enjoy it. You will have children, and once they come, life will fly past you like dog years. I want to tell her be prepared for the teen years, there are times you will have to do things they don't like too much, but that's OK. They will grow up and thank you for that. She definitely won't understand that because she herself is only 1 week out of teenagedom.
      I would tell her wear your bikini more because those days will be leaving you sooner than you think. To stop being so afraid of everything, it will all work out and nothing you feared ever came to pass. I would tell her look in the mirror more and love the person looking back, stop being so hard on her. You are a work in progress and that process will never end.
      Oh and enjoy the bladder control you have now. That too leaves. Try going to bed without the house picked up and the dishes washed, because if you can learn to do that now, you will help me greatly along the way.

      I would tell her to go outside and do cartwheels, just because you can. I would tell her to enjoy the noise, the cries of her children, and the 10 bajillion and 10 Momma's cause it's amazing, the quiet you will wish for.... is louder than you can imagine.

      I would tell her to enjoy sleeping in because there will be years of kids where you can't do that anymore, and then all the years after you find you are the early bird that gets the worm for no good reason but you are old.

      I want to tell her that 33 years later, she will still be in love with that man standing beside her. The man who swept her off her feet that day at the beach on their first date. The man she will grow old with.

     I want her to know out of all the things she will look back on wistfully and some with a touch of regret, the decision to marry that man will not be one of them.

     That man in that picture is still the one, the one that can still rock your world with just a look. Happy Anniversary to you both. From this side of it, I want to give you a big hug, and tell you how good you did... And say thank you for choosing the best possible match for you. But most of all enjoy the ride sugar, it's a great one!

until next time..... remember HE IS THERE!!!!!!

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Selah



    Selah.. She is our Maltese we bought back in August. It's amazing how fast she has become such a part of our daily life's and home. Yesterday my mom and step-dad, Jessi' and her family all went out to eat and I was telling them that Selah now knows just by what clothes I am wearing what is going to happen..

      If it's scrubs, when I walk to the door she turns and goes to the couch getting ready to sleep until I come home. If it's a robe I am throwing on, she knows she is getting to go outside to use the bathroom. But if it's blue jeans and shoes, she goes crazy cause there is a great possibility she will get to go for a ride in the car.

     She is either extremely smart or Ty and I are extremely predictable..

     When we were training her to go outside we used treats to entice her to go. Even though the training is pretty much over she still expects that treat every time she comes back inside. The second I take her collar off, those little legs run as fast as they can to go to the cabinet I keep her treats in.

     Not always does she want to go out or need to I guess. We will walk outside and she scratches at the glass door to come out, then we open the door she runs back in the house. Eventually we figure OK she doesn't have to go out and we come back inside.

     And without fail that little stinker will run straight to the cabinet for a treat. Having done nothing... but expecting.

     She did this just a second ago, and it hit me do we do this to God. Do we run to him with prayer expecting an answer or solution, yet haven't done anything to warrant either?

     It's just got me pondering today......